Sisterhood of Motherhood

It has been a while.  I know.  Blogger of the year, here.  What can I say?  I've been living and learning.

I have been thinking a lot about my friends and just how important they are to me.  As moms, of course our families are precious.  But our friends keep us sane.

When my kids were babies, my mom would tell me how I needed to make time to nurture friendships with other moms because they are a support and a connection to the outside world.  I can look back on this and see her wisdom, but then I was so annoyed at the prospect.  At this time, I was the first of my dear college friends to have kids.  I was in constant feed, diaper, and play mode.   What was I going to do with these friends - play "Compare Babies" so that people could judge me as a mother based on the age my son learned his ABCs?  No, thanks.  I had friends who knew and loved me before kids.  I am still that fun, interesting person, right?  I am....right?

My kids started Mother's Day Out and I did reluctantly, but naturally, begin to make friends with other moms.  I found women who had kids exactly the same age as mine, who shared in the glamour of potty training and tantrums.  I am thankful for them.  I needed them to give me perspective and help me to see that my children's blunders were their own and not necessarily mine.

My kids' elementary years have been much the same.  New town, new neighborhood, new friends with the super duper bonus of my BFF from high school and college living a stone's throw away.  I made PTA friends, baseball mom friends, dance mom friends - all of which have made mothering more fun.  We share in the chaos, the hilarity, and the absurdity of our own lives as moms and wives. 

This hits me now because this year, I will turn 40.  My boy will become a teenager this year.  I am suddenly keenly aware that life is moving faster that I prefer.  My kids' lives are changing and taking shape all the time.  Their firsts are my firsts, too.  And a lot of the time I feel like I have no idea what I am doing as a mother!   But I know today, more than any other time in my life, how much I need my girlfriends.  I am so grateful to my friends who have shown me how important this is.  They are the spice to an already blessed life.  They give me laughter, advice, perspective, and hope.   They make me better.  In eight years, both of my kids will be off at college.  I want to be interesting and fun now AND when they are gone.

We put so much energy into being moms and wives. Of course this is important and I want my kids to see the commitment that having a family requires.  But I also want them to see how to be a friend; how to take care of their friendships, how to be there in times of trouble, how to forgive and ask for forgiveness, and how to open their hearts to people.    We teach and model everything else.   We have to show them how to do this as well.  In a world of texting and social networking, our children probably need strong examples and direct instruction on real friendship more than any other generation in history.  We invest in others to enrich our lives and to enjoy our experience on earth! Our kids need to know that and we need to live it.

The truth is, we as mothers often make our friends through our children.  I fought this idea for some time.  But now I see that God puts these people in our paths so that we are not alone.  We have a sisterhood of motherhood.  We travel this bumpy road together.  We ease each other's burdens.  We vent to each other without expecting anyone to fix it.  We make each other laugh and remind one another that we ARE interesting people.  We are, aren't we?